Our LOVE is so hard...

I thought it's gonna be like the fairytale, they fell in love and lived happily ever after... It beats more reality in this.

My boyfriend and I have been in a year relationship now and we are not ready to be committed as a husband and wife.

He has lots of debts to settle and I don't want to be caught in settling for him. He's now settling in installments and it will take him another 2 years. Also is because, he is of different culture and race and I've yet to meet his family. I'm afraid that his family will arrange a marriage for him.

Well by now, I think you will guess what race is he.

My boyfriend were asking me on Friday, "If I will be married to someone else, can I see you?" I replied, "I don't know".

At this moment, there is only talk and suggestion about the arrangement only.
He's being honest of asking me this question if this will happen. He have told his family about me, but yet I still need their approval.

I'm still so afraid that his love and obedience for his family will over shadow our love. We loved each other and I even suggested registering our marriage first.

I can't be selfish registering our marriage without the knowledge of our parents just because to avoid him to marry another girl.

I really want to be his wife and spent the rest of our lives and I'll make sure it will happen.

Ps. I hope my fairytale will turn into a reality soon.

Men Stray...Women At Losing End?

My colleague asked me to drop off her at a bus stop as her husband is not picking her up today. She suddenly blurted out that she suspects her husband is having an affair.

I asked her why did she thinks so? She told me that for weeks on certain days, her husband is at an army camp, supposedly. She suspects her husband is at the other woman's house. Her husband is serving in an army camp.

She can't ask her husband's friends about his whereabouts as his friends are known to cover his tracks.

When comes to relationship, women are gifted to have sixth sense. They can sense whether their partner is telling lies.

Mostly women are on the losing ends when they found out their partners are having affair. They are not willing to leave the partners worse if it involves children. Hoping, their partner will change to a better man.

Some women just accept the fact that their husbands is having affair, much to a point that they accept the mistress into the family.

It's not fair that these women are being treated this way. Some just can't or won't get out of their trapped marriages. Most believed that because of the love and relationship they had built with their husbands, they can't forgo the relationship.

I understand why all these women can't or won't leave their marriages. It depends on every situation. It's easier said than done.

If my husband were to have an affair, I'm willing to forgive him for the first time. If he continues, I'm adamant of leaving him.

Ps. Will you leave your partner if you partner have an affair?

My youngest brother's wedding...

I was down in KL for my youngest brother's wedding last Sat. Went and stayed at his new house in Bandar Utama. Lol, this is the first time that I seen his house.

My uncle and his family came to visit my brother before his D-day. Chatted with my uncle and my cousin which I've not seen them for a long time.

After they left, I went for a quick dinner at Secret Recipe. Most of the shops have been closed except Secret Recipe.

Helped my brother to packed last minute ang paus and went to bed at 2am. My mother was still busy boiling tea for the tea ceremony. Supposed to wake up before 8am to sent my brother off to his new wife's home, but I was still in dreamland....

I woke up at 9am and waited for my relatives to come. Slowly my aunt, uncles and cousins came. The house was full with their noises. Wedding time is one of the best time to catch up with them. Some of them I've not seen for 5 years or so.

Finally, my brother and new sister-in-law came after waiting for 2.5 hours. After welcoming by my parents into the house, they ventured to the new bedroom. My little nephew rolled and jumped in the new bed of the newly wedded.

This is a traditional which practises in the Chinese custom which by jumping on the bed brings more luck of conceiving sons for the wedded couple.

Next come the tea ceremony and giving of angpaus and gold accessories.

After that, we adjourned for lunch.

I barely rested for half an hour and is time to get ready to adjourn to the hotel. In KL, we need to leave an hour early to our destination to avoid traffic jam.

I didn't know that my brother have not register his marriage yet. The marriage registration was to held at the hotel at 6pm. Guess that my brother prepared all this to be done under one roof on the same day to avoid inconveniences.

The marriage registration was done in a simple manner attended by both parents, relatives and friends. After some light wine and cupcakes, all of us adjourned to the banquet hall.

There, my cousins and I started to get busy. We are assigned to be registrars and to collect angpaus. After sending all the guests and relatives in to be seated, food were served.

Food was quite delicious except some dishes were being tasted salty. I was seated with my father's cousins. And this is the first time, I've got to know who they are. Like I said, wedding do bring long lost people together.

My brother gave me a surprised by serenading a love song to his wife. He's never a stage person, but for the love of his wife, he did that. It was so romantic. Too bad I can't post the video here.

After tossing of many yam seng, dinner ended at 10.30 with the last guest leaving. Then, to the counting room. With the help of my cousins, counting of the angpaus was swift and fast. Monies were balanced and the banquet was paid.

Everything was wrapped up and by the time, I reached my brother's place was
1am.

Though it was a really busy and tiring day for me and my family, it was a worthwhile time to celebrate and welcome my new sister-in-law.

Ps. Will try to upload photos of his wedding after he's back from his honeymoon.

Would I marry you?

"What happen if I won't marry you"? My bf asked me last Sat. Gosh, it was my b'day and how could he?! I told him that I will cry, for a few days maybe a few weeks.

It's too early at our relationship we talked about marriage. We are only 3 months old. Deep down, I truly want to spent my live with him but yet are afraid to be totally committed to it. There are so many things that we need to discover and plan before we can settle down.

Needless to say, my biological clock is ticking fast and I need to married to have his children! But, I need not rush into marriage because of this.

He told me that he wants to get married when he turns 40. And I told him, well then don't get married at all.

I guessed that he too not ready at this moment. We will be on this topic another 6 months down the road.

Ps. Of after how many years of relationship, that you got married?

Marriage and Infidelity

What had happened to marriages nowadays? News of infidelity and divorce are high on the rise. 6 out of 10 marriages have failed, even my own family have two divorce cases.

What happened to the promises and wows they made before marriage? Through sickness and in health, richer and poorer and till death do us part?

Do we tend to be put on a mask on ourselves for our partners while courting? I think that most of us does this. And do we turn to monsters after married?

Breakup of marriage tends to involve lots of issues. It could be infidelity, lack of communication and understanding, trust, nonacceptance, financial, family crisis and other issues related. Or maybe the love for each other just stop. Is it possible?
The worst of a divorce is when children are involved and they suffered the most.

Not all marriages will break up. Kudos to my parents and my godbrother whom their marriages are still loving and strong till today.

I still have qualms of being married. I want to marry my boyfriend someday, but news of divorce cases really scares me. Putting marriage on whole for a while but I'm planning to get married in 2 years time.

Hope by then, I'm ready to face this new life with a greater challenge with my new husband.

Ps. My sister's colleague, her marriage problem which I've posted under Men-Silent Treatment blog could not be saved. She found out that her husband is having an affair.

Men-Silent Treatment?......

Just picture this and let the scene roll in your mind. She's a woman with many hats to wear. She's a career woman, wife to her husband and mother to her children. Even though she's a busy career woman, she make sure to finish her task at home at the end of the day no matter how tired was she.

She has great communication with her husband by being a great wife, serving him and loving him physically and mentally. Together with her husband, she's building a family with full of love, care, trust,faithfullness,integrity and unity. But lately, things start to change 2 weeks ago.

Her husband starts to disclose her in his everyday conversation. He starts to sleep apart from her, he couldn't care less of the welfare of his family. She prompted what's bothering him and he just answered that she didn't understand him. He has given her the silent treatment.

She's my sister colleague, I known her quite personally and she's married to her husband for 10 years. My sister and I were complementing whether her husband is having an affair; (our first thought was this), and the second think financial problem. We even thought maybe her husband is facing a mid-life crisis.

Yesterday, both of them made love after many days of abstained. After their session, her husband slept apart; she was hoping to rekindle back by making love with him. She really felt bad and devastated. Until today, she's cracking her head to understand her husband's mysterious behaviour and rekindle her marriage.

P/s Men out there, do you sometimes react this way? Why the silent treatment? How can we woman find out the reason?

Pls enlighten us, women folks.

Is There Sanctity of Marriage anymore?

One of the thing I feared most is being married. I know it sounds corny, but.....

I always dream about a happy marriage, a good and loving wife to my husband and a good mother to my children. Together, we will grow old still loving each other. Gone were the days when couples stayed together throughout the marriage.

I've been hearing true life stories of marriages being broken up. Even 2 of my cousins their marriages were dissolved. Infidelity top most of the break up, follow by financial, communication problems and eventually lots of disagreement. The worst is when the break up involves children. It's like one day the love between husband and wife just died. Most times, I wonder in the beginning of the relationship, was there so much pretence until when there is realization, then is it too late?

I know that marriage is the most hard work of a relationship. My parents was married for 35 years and still going. There were many loving arguments between them.

I definitely would like to get married to my boyfriend someday, but after knowing and hearing these break ups, I lost faith.

At the moment, I'm not ready for marriage. I need to reassure myself first.

P/S Happily married couples out there, I need lots of encouragement on this. Will appreciate your thoughts and suggestions.